Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I guess I'll have to dream the rest

My hand brushes yours
Attention with hidden intention, I know
But my glances don’t interest her
A knock with no answer because she didn’t hear the door
I still cared, didn’t she know? unfortunately not
Only her yearbook photo comforts me
Like a palm supported chin
Nights of silent glances that turn into stares that my eyes climb
Laddering the pedestal I put her on
Until I took too long
Now she’s under someone else’s arm
It would have never worked anyway
But she thrills me so
Even in passing, she’s beautiful

But this wouldn’t be the first time it didn’t work out
Not the first time I lost swagger due to doubt
Thoughts of this other girl floods my “I”s whenever my eyes meet hers
Simple questions asked but only answered with “I”s as I stutter
So in my Eros wounded state I float across weather conditions
Pursuing her soft alluring eyes across the room
Meeting her backlit by golden rays in bloom
But this ennead cloudy trip failed to mention
She was not on my connecting flight
ATTENTION PASSENGERS: The current flight is experiencing turbulence and will be making an emergency landing.

Women usually think of me as a friend
Can’t cross that sand drawn line
Mr. Sandman don’t leave me to rot
I’m still awake with this nagging and despairing forethought
Chordette that sweet tune you sing so well
Bring me a dream
Now that I’m older, women as friends is sweet but difficult blend
Harry wanted Sally, Sally rejected Harry,
Platonic friends pretending the sex doesn’t want to peak in
In my case Freudian slips become all too often,
I tried my breast
Best as I could
I guess I'll have to dream the rest


She expected me to simply just sleep next to her
Cuddling ain’t sex as much as partying ain’t drinking
Roused, I can’t catch 40 winks
Instead I count threads in the sheets
All night my mind thinks
My boxer shorts mountain peak
If I could I would dream the rest
Caress a thigh or maybe a
I guess I'll have to dream the rest

You know what? She’s not on top of her game
Responding to my text 5 hours later
Too passive to flirt back or tell me how she feels
Creeping up on 30 and you want me to kneel
Holding doors but not holding hands
Oh I’m sorry she is too busy to plan
Too busy to return calls
I suggest adventures; she leans back with eyes that venture
And with the meal I just paid for and now she digests
I guess I'll have to dream the rest

Why does phone tag and flirtatious texts to this chica intrigue me?
Car trips up I-85 into unfamiliar territory
Voice messages and schedule conflicts obstacle all interactions
So mutual meetings become as frequent as the moon blue
Recurrent as nights too long that sunrise seems to west too long
A Sarah Michelson type thing I imagine between us
I guess I'll have to dream the rest

I remember enjoying the profile her big pearl smile
During late nights watching my favorite films
Her rosy skin TV lit
Even once this sugar brown thing and me talked like best friends on the phone
All night long like long beach walks
But high school conversations like blackboard chalk
Exists usually like pedestrians on sidewalks
I guess I'll have to dream the rest

Another time I remember making this beauty from across the table laugh
Distracting her in a college class
I had no game I’ll act a childish ass just to get her attention
One summer every Saturday spending that $1.82 on strawberries n’ crème twisslers
That young lady at the video store gained all my money
Just to have small talk that went nowhere
Something must have been wrong with her anyway I thought
Just my immature way of dealing with it
I guess I'll have to dream the rest

Whether mahogany silk, sweet olive tan, or a hue of rosy peach
Attempts to maintain the initial spark is not always reached
Doubts and vague explanations of how I feel shade my interactions
Frustrating every woman
Making commitments seems out of reach
So I‘ll just work to improve and transgress
Invite lustful daydreams, good taste of course fully dressed
With an umbrella to keep from getting wet
I look forward to goodnights that sponsor opportunity
Again I am awaken from a dream of love
Loved the dream I dreamed
I loved her in the dream I hug
Counting sheep until I pass out into a deep sleep
Though my heart may break when I awake
Because Good mornings shepherd Heartache
But until then I guess I'll have to dream the rest

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